tell me everything cause I don't get it
I just want to know why it seems like when
goodbyes were said...
you were quick to say 'em
BreakI'm probably a little hit or miss
every thing I write's a little sad
all of it is pretty bad
just me being sad bout stuff with dad
like being alone
like be scared
feeling so fake
terrified I'll break
and that's all pointless
feeling like my own sorrow
is an ointment
I put it on as a cloak
just to stunt my ailment
if this was my test
I'm confident I failed it
Road To HappyI just want be me, and nothing but me
that's why I'm writing tons of rap
and I'm drawing class
can't stop me
all of this
on my road to be happy
CutsThere were cuts along my arm
red and stinging simply
to dull what else I felt
it stung as I bleed
my arm dripping red
while horrible thoughts
floated through my head
RealityReality has gotten to me
in a way that I'd have never ever
guessed I would see
it seems life has got so rotten
that I'm just out of strength
I hope it's not too late
but I don't think things
are going too great
The ShineBe exactly who you are
write what's on your heart
draw what comes to mind
sing every single line
play the instruments amazingly
just because it's you behind it
just because your shine is so bright
you leave all the rest blinded
ChangeIt's a little different now
can't tell if it's getting better
chilling alone with no cash
a mouse with no chedder
I don't smile, there was no cheese
so please don't expect from me
a grin on my face
it's just not that easy
Reunited 8[The same night]
"You sure you wanna come here, Tone?" questioned Thaddeus
"Yeah, since last night was troublesome. said Tony.
"Only teen I know to say "Troublesome." joked Thaddeus
"Whatever, dude." Chuckled Anthony. "You going on any dates soon, Thad?"
"I can't, Ma said I gotta give girls a break, before I ended up a father.
"She oughta have you neutered." Anthony said while laughing hard.
They finally got to the lake.
"Oooooh, chicks man." Thad said looking at the lake
"Uck!" The two exclaimed after getting closer to the dock.
"Let go, creep!!!" Clover exclaimed as the drunk grabbed her and Beverly's arms
Beverly was in tears, she couldn't handle being in tense situations.
On a night like this, this was nothing but trouble, Friday the football game would be played, meaning
there was no one out there this night besides Clover and the people she came with.
"Let 'em go!" Thad shouted rushing the guy.
The guy threw the girls down, quickly tossing off his shades, and kicking
Thad in the
Reunited 7[The next night]
Strolling down the street, wolf whislte from the right, slowing cars on the left.
Eyes gravitating to areas they shouldn't have.
It was at the lake, Clover and Beverly were in their swimsuit, hanging out with some guys from school.
"So, did you guys hear?"
"I heard Marco got busted open."
Clover was visibly stunned.
"W-what happened to him?" she asked.
Beverly turned to her and asked another question before Clover was answered.
"What about that guy you were texting, Clover?" "Does he know we're here?"
"Don't worry bout all that." "Besides, it's not like somethings gonna happen." said Clover
"It's not?" said one of the guys. He had shades on, and had another pair on his shirt.
He had to be drunk. Or maybe he was that stupid.
"No, it isn't perv." said Clover "We just wanted to come to the lake.
And you happened to have a car."
"So, no making out."
"Nope." Retorted Clover and Beverly at the same time.
Ugly Scars“Why do you cut, dear?”
“Doesn’t it hurt?”
Of course it does –
It hurts more than I’m worth
“Why do you cut, dear?”
“Aren’t you ashamed?”
Of course I’m embarrassed,
But I’m used to the blame.
“Why do you cut, dear?”
“Why don’t you stop?”
Can you stop a dead body
From starting to rot?
Because, darling, you see,
I’m not even here.
I’m only a corpse
With no hope, and no fear.
“Why do you cut dear?”
Well, don’t you see?
There’s a pain inside
So deep within me
And it’s coming to the surface
But no one understands
So I put that pain
Inside my hands.
And I lay it out
For all to see
On wrists so red
And forearms that bleed.
“Why do you cut, dear?”
“It’s ugly, you know.”
“ugly” is exactly
What this is meant
bullets in a shot glassAgain the archers are aching,
again their bones are breaking
like the cracks in the Colosseum.
Death does not defend
fighters; he does not fulfill
godly goals of
heaven and halos.
I am inverted, introverted,
a jester jeering
at kids who kiss
like life is long enough to fall in love.
my mouth is a machine,
a new nightfall
ordering our soldiers out
into pits where they pray for peace.
the quirks of our
ridiculous readings rule us,
sand us into sculptures
thin and tall, trembling.
our universe is built on uncertainty
and vicious virtues
written by long-dead warriors who
expected to live forever, and
I do not yield to your
Self-Harm Isn't a HandbagPick at the scabs of the ghosts of scars
On the insides of my wrists,
White hot pain memories shoot up my veins
And the tear vapour creates mists
In the lenses of my glasses.
My world narrows down to those
White stitch marks that keep the
Patchwork of my forearms and thighs
Keeping the dark ugly hurt
On the insides
How could I have done this to myself?
Could I blame you?
And her too?
I’m a big girl now,
And the blame rests on my wrists,
That flicked the blade
And sprayed the blood,
And the mind that forbade
Me to ask for help.
I’ve said it before
And I’ll say it again;
It isn’t beautiful
To put yourself through such pain.
When your head is buzzing
From the hit of the high
Of a new cut on your thigh,
Or your mind is lost in a mist
Of ecstasy from a new slice
On your wrist
And you’re dependent on it
A junkie needing a hit,
It isn’t pretty or cute or special.
No amount of kisses
Will undo the cuts
Or absorb the scars.
he saved me, but he killed me.
i. first light- i met you in a crimson forest.
it was a rose garden summer, and out of a black mercedes
you walked out, your five year old eyes greener than
you reached up to pluck a rose from its stem, and offered it to me.
"what's your name?"
daddy told me that i couldn't tell strangers my real name.
I looked at the rose in my hand.
you smiled, you were a seastorm of now long-gone innocence.
i didn't understand
but I knew.
ii. i forgot about you for
1562 days, 11 hours, and 22 minutes,
my name, but i didn't recognize you
until i saw your eyes.
iii. my father fell and didn't stand back up again.
i screamed, and you carried me home.
iv. i didn't talk for a week.
i stared at the gray of the sky. it was the color of my father's eyes.
you sat next to me in the pouring rain,
Anxiety attackAs the attack begins,
I feel myself slipping away again.
And I question things that are better left unsaid.
And contemplate if I am better off dead.
My anxiety is killing me,
I feel my hands shaking.
And I am sobbing.
And am I dying?
I am just trying,
To get a grip.
But I feel my reality slip through my finger tips.
Nothing is real,
Except every bit of pain my mind forces me to feel.
Every memory that I had shoved away.
Is now racing around my brain.
It's driving me insane.
And my limbs turn to jello.
Every time my head hits the pillow,
Before I go to bed.
I start to panic and I am wide awake instead.
More thoughts are swarming around like a hurricane.
Make it stop!
And just like that,
The attack is gone.